Gen Z and why we go “no contact”

I was sitting in my marketing class last week when my professor said something that caught my interest. She said, ‘Generation Z is the quickest generation to form connections and the quickest to end a relationship or go no contact’.

It stuck with me all day after class. Why is it that my generation isn’t afraid to go no contact? I thought about it; my theory is simply that we’re unwilling to sit through disrespect and situations that make us uncomfortable.

According to Relevant Magazine, in an article titled ‘A majority of Gen Z has gone ‘no contact’ with a friend or family member’. A study was done by Talker Research; of the 2,000 adults who participated in the survey, over 60% of Gen Z surveyed said that they went no contact with someone in the last year. The main reason was that they felt disrespected within the relationship.

I think there’s a common misconception that if someone, especially family, crosses a boundary, we’re just supposed to get over it. I mean, sure, if it happens just one time and they apologize. However, if anyone, family or not, continues to disrespect your boundaries, maybe it’s best to take a step away from them.

I hear the argument a lot that family is family and you don’t turn your back on blood. This argument frustrates me; I’ve been called selfish for going no contact. The thought of being seen as selfish scared me into not removing myself from uncomfortable situations for years. The truth is, I have thought it through; I tried for years to move past things, but my resentment and confusion only grew.

It’s not an easy decision to completely cut someone out of your life; it’s something that builds and becomes a decision you have to make in order to take the best care of yourself. When you are constantly surrounded by people who don’t respect you, it becomes hard for you to respect yourself. However, a boundary is a boundary, and you shouldn’t have to constantly remind someone they’re overstepping; you don’t even have to explain your boundary to them. It can be as simple as “I don’t like it when you make jokes at my expense and I would like you to stop” and if they don’t, you can leave.

The majority of the time, I feel our generation does try to be forgiving, but there are only so many times a boundary can be crossed repeatedly before it becomes evident that the person who is crossing it doesn’t care about your feelings or comfort. I understand the argument of not cutting people off after one misunderstanding, but I think we all know there’s a huge difference between a misunderstanding and blatant disrespect. How many times do we have to forgive someone, only for them to cross another boundary?

In recent years, I’ve begun to realize that the more I am willing to stand up for myself and surround myself with those who care about me, the happier I am. I’m not saying having good people in your life is a cure-all, but there’s so much value in having healthy relationships. The friends and family that I do have in my life respect me and it’s given me more confidence in myself and my own individuality as a person.

At the end of the day, I think we all just want to have people in our lives that we can laugh with, cry with and overall go through life with. There are so many people out there who are waiting for that one good friend. I promise you that if you work towards building healthy boundaries and relationships, you will find people who appreciate you.